I’d have a cat, a hare, a frog
I’d own a rat, a bear, a hog
But picking up faeces
Of another species
Is why I’d never have a dog
Evolution of a Limerick
This all began when a rhyming couplet popped into my head after passing by yet another dog owner getting out their plastic bag to take care of business. Or more precisely, their pet’s business.
Picking up the faeces
Of another species
Which scan nicely, having six syllables each and good rhythm.
My initial approach was to be along the lines:
I’d never have a dog because
Picking up the faeces
Of another species
I just needed a killer last line, something like Is not my idea of fun
I ran my original attempt past a friend of mine who simply suggested I put the have a dog line at the end, thus:
Picking up the faeces
Of another species
Is why I’d never have a dog
Better. The payoff line is at the end and wraps it up nicely.
However, I thought it needed some sort of build up/introduction, and since those three lines look like they belong in a limerick what I needed was two opening lines that end with words that rhyme with dog
So I came up with a list of rhyming animals: frog and hedgehog
I then needed to create lines ending with those words with eight syllables to match the last line, and a joining word
So my first attempt is
I’d have a cat, a mouse, a frog
I might even have a hedgehog
But picking up the faeces
Of another species
Is why I’d never have a dog
But what’s this? That but in there ruins the syllabic symmetry of the third and fourth lines. I need to add another syllable to the fourth line.
What’s another word for faeces? Ah, droppings, that’ll do
So now we get to the version first submitted here:
I’d have a cat, a mouse, a frog
I might even have a hedgehog
But picking up the faeces
Dropped by another species
Is why I’d never have a dog
But, there’s still something wrong. The rhythm of the original rhyming couplet has been lost, and the second line doesn’t quite have the rhythm of the first and last lines even though it has the same number of syllables.
So on further reflection the answer was not change the fourth line, but to remove a syllable from the third, and who needs that definite article?
I’d have a cat, a mouse, a frog
I might even have a hedgehog
But picking up faeces
Of another species
Is why I’d never have a dog
Which still leaves the problem of the rhythm of the second line.
Let’s break it down.
The first and last lines sound like da-da da-da da-da da-da, which I think can be described as Pyrrhic Tetrameter (four feet of unstressed-unstressed syllables), or it could be da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum, which is probably Iambic Tetrameter (four feet of unstressed-stressed syllables)
But the second line is more like da-dum dum-da da-da dum-da. Obviously it could be read to fit the rhythm, but that doesn’t come naturally.
The problem seems to be around even and hedgehog. so what if I just repeat the first line, but with different animals, using the obvious hog without a hedge?
And why not make them all rhyme?
I’d have a rat, a louse, a hog
Whover heard of a louse as a pet? Silly idea! We need another couple of rhyming animals
bear – hare
fox – ox (I’ll discount this because I’d have to use an ox
I’d have a cat, a bear, a frog
I’d have a rat, a hare, a hog
Which might be better the other way around so we don’t get the hare/hog alliteration
I’d have a cat, a hare, a frog
I’d have a rat, a bear, a hog
Maybe don’t repeat have
I’d have a cat, a hare, a frog
I’d own a rat, a bear, a hog
That might be it!
What a going on just to make up a stupid little limerick.
First written 2017-06-17
M. Robert Gibson 