A Room With Several Unpleasant Views

“What’ll I have to eat?” I asked myself on entering the kitchen.

“You’re getting a bit podgy”, said the fridge. “You should have a salad.”

“Yes, you’re definitely overweight”, said the cooker. “No more roast dinners for you.”

“And those jeans”, said the toaster, “Far too tight with a belly like yours.”

“Are those blue shoes and green socks?” asked the microwave. “Haven’t you any fashion sense?”

“Also, you should get a haircut”, said the kettle. “You look like a smelly hippy.”

“Smart appliances! Sheesh!” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in such an opinionated room.”

My entry in the February / March 2020 100 Word Anonymous Challenge at SFFChronicles
Theme: A Room With A View
Genre: Speculative Fiction