Oh! I Say! Issue One

Oh! I Say! Logo

No Truth In Rumour

“There is absolutely no truth in the rumour,” a spokesman declared earlier today. He continued, “The story is completely untrue and has no basis in fact whatsoever. Whoever started such a rumour should be deeply ashamed of themselves.”

We are pleased to be the first to bring the news of the incorrectness of the rumour, as we ourselves did not believe it could be true, as you know. The statement today comes after weeks of speculation on the verity of the story that first came to light following an investigation by one of our reporters.

All parties concerned are greatly relieved by today’s news and a huge celebratory party is planned for the weekend. We hope that this will be the end of the troubles and will be monitoring very closely all concerned to ensure it does not happen again.

Singing Chicken Surprises Mayor

The Mayor yesterday was rather surprised to hear a singing chicken on his official visit to Mr Dungheap’s chicken farm.
“I’m rather surprised,” he is quoted as saying.

The farmer himself was rather surprised at the Mayor’s reaction. “I thought everyone had heard my singing chicken,” he said, but later admitted, “I must admit the choice of song rather surprised me. The chicken in question is rather partial to the hits of the Thirties and Forties, but her choice of ‘Boombastic’ rather surprised me.
Farmer Dungheap’s chicken glee club can be heard every Wednesday in the backroom of the King’s Legs in Little Cum-on-the-Ceiling.

Happy Families

A Happy Family
After an extensive survey by the National Association of Nice Things, it was announced that the vast majority of families are quite happy with their lives.
Isn’t that nice?

Gossip Column

That lady from number 26 has been having quite a lot of visitors recently, and I bet it just isn’t for tea.

Mr. Hutchings has had his operation and it all seems to have gone very well, apart from his strange walk, but that’s to be expected.

You know who has been in trouble with the law again? It’s about time he was put away, for his own good if nothing else.

Today’s Weather

Looks like rain again.

(c) M. Robert Gibson
First written 1997-06