Oh! I Say! Issue Two

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T Martucci in Job Shock Horror

It can be exclusively revealed today that T Martucci, 32, man of leisure and darling of the unemployed masses, has started work.

This news has left the entire globe in a deep state of shock and disbelief that such an event could be allowed to happen in this day and age of modern technology. This news puts an end to years of speculation as to whether or not such an occurrence was possible, or indeed feasible. Many experts have been consulted over the years, some of whom have expressed strong doubts on the possibility, whilst others, labelled as cranks at the time, claimed that it was possible in theory, but highly unlikely in practice.

T Martucci, 47, himself has been unavailable for comment, but sources close to him have revealed that he is taking it well and does not seem to be too adversely affected by the experience. One such source has been quoted as saying: “This is very good news for several people, despite the adverse world reaction.” The source explains this as: “What this actually means, in real terms, is that he will now be able to buy a round of drinks in the pub, and even pay back some of his debts.”

This last statement has been met with a large amount of scepticism by some of the so called experts, but others view this with an air of optimism.

“There may even come a time when he is in the position to actually lend money to others,” another source claimed, but again, much doubt has been expressed on this opinion by certain pessimistic dissenters.

It has also been pointed out, however, that this is only a very recent phenomenon and time may well prove this to be just a temporary state of affairs until nature reasserts itself.

We here at Oh! I Say! are very excited at this amazing turn of events and will be monitoring T’s progress very closely in the coming months.

(c) M. Robert Gibson
First written 1997-07