So there I was, about to kill a spider when I hear a voice pleading, “No, no. Don’t kill me.” I looked around but there was no one else in the room and anyway I knew I was alone. I heard the voice again and realised it was coming from the spider.
“I’m not what I seem,” it said. “If you spare me I can do things for you, make things happen.”
“What, like three wishes?”
“Yeah, but without the limitation of numbers.”
“Not just three.”
“Oh, I see. OK. Prove it. Make something happen.”
“Like what? You’ve got to tell me what you want.”
“OK. Untold riches and beautiful women catering to my every sexual whim.”
“Sod off you greedy tosser!” shouted the spider, as it scuttled away.
(c) M. Robert Gibson
First written some time in 2009