By The Nosbigs (Kram and Eyak)
All the Porthesqueue’s friends were at the manor for young Charlie Porthesqueue’s 20th birthday, which would turn out not a happy one.
If you want to find out what the unhappy bit was, read on NEXT WEEK
[pause]
NEXT WEEK, now read on…
Music lovers! Dump your LPs, CDs, and DVDs, the only musical medium you need is: HDs – Holodiscs!
Enjoy your favourite artistes playing in glorious surround sound* in your own home.
[Male Host]
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s…
[Female Host]
(Theme music)
[Male Host]
Mad Hour
[Female Host]
(Notes) (Fanfare)
[Male Host]
A completely new comedy show with some sense in it.
Firstly, we will go over to the hall of records.
I emerged into the clearing to behold a pool and its guardian. “Is this the fabled Spring Of Ultimate Pleasure?”
“Yes.”
“Excellent,” I cried, scooping a handful of water and drinking deeply. Waves of pure bliss coursed through me. Nerves tingled. Muscles spasmed.
Many decades ago I discovered the most valuable of treasures and determined that, for my future benefit, I must seek the perfect hiding place.
And on my quest I discovered a hidden planet.
Oh I own a little ranch in the middle of the U S A
(Glory Hallelooya)
Oh I own a little ranch in the middle of the U S A
(Yeh, yeh, yeh)
Oh I own a little ranch in the middle of the U S A
(Aaaaa [deep breath] aaaaaa)
Oh I own a little ranch in the middle of the U S A
(Middle of the U S A)
Continue reading “I Own a Little Ranch in the Middle of the USA”
At birth the princess’s fairy godmother foretells she will conquer all.
At 16 she and young Prince Charming fall irretrievably in love.
Did I ever tell you about the time the mice visited? No? Then permit me to recount the tale.
It was a cold winter’s night back in ’42. There I was ensconced in front of a roaring fire, enjoying a vintage port, a rather sublime creamy Stilton, and reading a Wells, when I was distracted by a popping sound and a faint smell of petunias. Looking around I was astounded to see a small box had appeared atop my credenza.
Another episode in the short history of Odd Tripe, this time the spoof entry in the New Musical Express Encyclopedia of Rock
Three figures emerged from the recently landed spacecraft.
“We’ve made it! A new world,” declared one. “As the senior officer, I will rule our new civilisation.”
M. Robert Gibson 
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