The Twelve Lays of Christmas

I remember once, in royal David’s city, on a silent night in the bleak midwinter, while shepherds watched their flocks, when I saw three ships coming into port.

At Home With The Morphensteins

“Hi honey, I’m home,” announced Husband.

“Hello darling,” replied Wife, passing him a Martini. “What have you been today?”

Kajar and the Ogre

Ever since Duke Kedu’s disappearance following his quarrel with the wizard Drawzi, Rego the Ogre had terrorised the town.

The day Kajar visited, the people told of human sacrifices and pleaded for help.

Not A Yuletide Canticle

“Obonozor Screege, I am the spectre of Yuletide future…”

“He’s gone.”

“What? Who are you two?”

“I’m Yuletide Past and this is Present. I’d barely started my speech when Screege was off, dancing down the street, saying something about Tiny Tim, turkeys and sneaking through tulips.”

The Ancient and Honourable Guild of Barbarian Heroes

Membership Rules for the Ancient and Honourable Guild of Barbarian Heroes

1: Your thews must be mighty.

2: Your hair must be mane-like.

3: Your eyes must be steely.

4: Your air must be brooding.

The Adventures of Thoseus and Oriodne

The adventurers approached the labyrinth’s entrance.

“Tie this yarn to that tree,” said Thoseus.

“Why?” asked Oriodne.

“It’ll help us find our way out.”

“As you wish.”

Kajar and the Tailor

The tailor stopped sewing as Kajar entered his shop.

“I seek a mystical artefact,” announced Kajar. “Its power transforms the most debased into the most refined, bringing its owner sophistication, elegance, and the confidence to mingle effortlessly at high society soirees. It even bestows the ability to enjoy opera and ballet. Know you of where I may find such?”

The Law and Order Alliance

The Law and Order Alliance of Extraordinary Super-Duper Heroes versus Ora Magnappetitus, Galactoshark

Professor Xylem strode onto the stage and raised his arms. Gradually the room fell silent.

“I’ve called this meeting of the Alliance because grave news has reached us from our outpost orbiting Neptune. Ora Magnappetitus, the Muncher of Planets, has entered our solar system. Already Pluto has been gnawed and three of its moons nibbled. We need ideas on how to stop his progress before he reaches the inhabited zone.”

A Brief Encounter

So there I was, about to kill a spider when I hear a voice pleading, “No, no. Don’t kill me.” I looked around but there was no one else in the room and anyway I knew I was alone. I heard the voice again and realised it was coming from the spider.

Kajar and the Romantic Interlude

Kajar quietly closed the door behind him. “Alone at last, my darling, my love. Words cannot describe how much I adore you. You complete me. With you I feel whole. If I were to lose you, I don’t think I could survive. Let me caress you. Kiss you. Make love to you.”